The fear we put in comfort zones
August 17, 2017
So this morning, I did a thing. Not like a huge thing, but for me, it kind of was.
I worked out in a sports bra and leggings.
A week ago, I was getting dressed to run and I was challenged with the question of why I wasn’t wearing just a bra and shorts to run. UM, I am going on a run...in public. “Lots of people run in a bra and shorts, you should.” He continued. While blushing, laughing out loud, and rolling my eyes, I could only think about my D chest flaring about on the very-public trail and people looking at me. And then my stomach (!) far from perfectly flat, completely bare. Yeah, no chance.
And then this morning, I was getting dressed for spin…I slipped into high rise Lulus. I threw on a bra. And I got sidetracked brushing my teeth while wearing just the bra and leggings. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and thought, “Damn, I’m kind of feeling myself right now.” The cherry on that sundae is that I accepted monthly bloat that visits once a month. Okay twice sometimes if I eat something bad, or drink too much, but this wasn’t food related.
It was right then, mouth full of toothpaste that I decided to take my spin class, in NYC of all places, with no a shirt on.
And I did.
Now, I did put a shirt on for the walk to class, but as soon as I mounted the bike, it came off.
I felt free. And I think I even worked harder. Sure, I had moments of “Thank goodness it’s dark and these are high rise leggings,” but it wasn’t as uncomfortable as my brain feared it to be.
Sometimes we need to give ourselves credit (and thank those who challenge our thinking), because deep down, I felt it wasn’t just those leggings, I work hard…not just to feel good, but dammit, to try to look good, too.
Dear Charlotte. One Year Later.
July 21, 2017
One year ago, my happy ass drove down to you, alone, and it’s been a ride ever since.
The past 365 days have been filled with experiences that were scary, joyous, exhilarating, fun, and also, exhausting.
It’s incredible to look back and think that this time has really flown and yet I still have to wonder. Why the hell am I here? What am I actually doing here? Is this a stop gap? Is this the permanent location that I had fixated my mind on for years on end?
Now please, do not get me wrong here, I love Charlotte, I really do, but my mind has been expanded tenfold over the course of the year and I'm curious. I never expected this. Perhaps my ability to work from wherever [yes, a true blessing] has made my mind wander. What else can I experience? Where else can I go? What can I learn?
I’ve met some incredible people since I landed in the Queen City last summer. And I know a few will be around for life. I’m forever grateful for the community and the camaraderie that surrounds me daily…even on days I am traveling.
Like, ironically, today, as I find myself back in my home area, in the city I used to work. And I look out into the skyline at something familiar, yet so unfamiliar. Which shows me that I do have a lot of love and pride for the QC. The pace. The town. The people. Are we missing things here and there? Of course. Are we a little behind on the food-times and trends? Uh, yes. Does it sometimes feel very small? There are moments.
But, as to why it actually worked out for me to land in the 704 , I guess will find out, seeing as I just re-signed my lease.
do you believe in magic?
Alexandra is in her late-twenties and believes in being well-rounded. She has adopted a gluten-free diet and has a complicated relationship with dairy. She is often found in the kitchen, whipping up something lean, clean and green....
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